How to Manage Rivalry in the Workplace

Workplace rivalry is more common than you might think. Whether it’s a coworker competing for the same promotion, someone who always seems to challenge your ideas, or a colleague who makes every project feel like a battle, rivalry at work can drain your energy and hurt your career. The good news? You can learn to manage these situations effectively without losing your cool or compromising your values.

Understanding Workplace Rivalry

Rivalry happens when two or more people see each other as competitors rather than teammates. Unlike healthy competition that pushes everyone to improve, unhealthy rivalry creates tension, breaks down communication, and makes collaboration nearly impossible.

Common signs you’re dealing with workplace rivalry include:

A coworker who constantly one-ups your achievements
Someone who disagrees with everything you say in meetings
A colleague who withholds important information from you
A person who takes credit for your ideas or work
Someone who talks negatively about you to others

The key to managing rivalry is recognizing it early and responding strategically instead of emotionally.

Why Workplace Rivalries Develop

Understanding the root causes helps you respond more effectively. Most rivalries stem from:

Competition for limited resources. When there’s only one promotion available or limited recognition to go around, people may see colleagues as threats instead of allies.

Personality clashes. Sometimes two people simply have different working styles, values, or communication preferences that create natural friction.

Insecurity and fear. Many rivals act out because they feel threatened by your skills, worried about their own job security, or afraid of being overshadowed.

Unclear roles and expectations. When responsibilities overlap or aren’t clearly defined, people may clash over who should do what.

Office culture problems. Some workplaces accidentally encourage rivalry by constantly comparing employees or creating a cutthroat atmosphere.

Smart Strategies to Manage Rivalry

1. Stay Professional and Calm

Your first and most important strategy is to keep your emotions in check. When someone acts like a rival, it’s tempting to fight back, gossip, or get defensive. Resist these urges.

Instead, maintain a professional attitude at all times. Respond to challenges with facts, not feelings. When your rival makes a snide comment in a meeting, don’t snap back—calmly present your position with evidence. This approach makes you look mature and capable while your rival appears petty.

2. Document Everything Important

In today’s workplace, paper trails matter. Keep records of your contributions, ideas, and accomplishments. This doesn’t mean becoming paranoid, but it does mean being smart.

Save emails that show your work and ideas. Keep notes from important meetings. Track your project contributions in writing. If your rival later claims your idea was theirs or says you didn’t meet a deadline, you’ll have proof of the real story.

This documentation also protects you if the rivalry escalates and you need to involve HR or management.

3. Take the High Road with Communication

How you communicate with a rival can either escalate or defuse the situation. Choose your words carefully and keep interactions professional.

When possible, communicate through email rather than in person. This creates a record and gives you time to craft thoughtful responses instead of reacting emotionally. Keep messages brief, stick to facts, and avoid personal attacks or sarcasm.

If you must meet face-to-face, bring a third party when discussing important topics. This witness can help keep the conversation productive and provide an objective perspective if disputes arise later.

4. Find Common Ground

This might sound impossible, but finding shared goals with your rival can transform the relationship. You both want the team to succeed, the project to finish on time, or the company to grow. Focus on these shared interests.

Try saying something like: “I know we have different approaches, but we both want this product launch to go well. What if we divide the tasks based on our strengths?” This shifts the dynamic from competition to collaboration.

Even small areas of agreement can create positive momentum. Compliment your rival’s genuine strengths. Acknowledge when they have a good idea. These olive branches don’t make you weak—they make you strategic.

5. Set Clear Boundaries

Don’t let a rival push you around or take advantage of you. Establish firm boundaries about what behavior you will and won’t accept.

If a coworker interrupts you constantly in meetings, politely but firmly say: “I’d like to finish my thought, then I’m happy to hear your perspective.” If someone sends aggressive messages after work hours, don’t respond until the next business day and consider saying: “I handle complex work discussions during business hours when I can give them proper attention.”

Boundaries show you respect yourself and expect others to do the same. They also prevent small annoyances from building into major conflicts.

6. Build Strong Relationships with Others

Don’t let a rivalry isolate you. Strengthen your connections with other coworkers, especially those who are supportive and positive. These relationships serve multiple purposes.

First, they provide emotional support when dealing with a difficult rival. Second, they establish your reputation as a team player, which makes any gossip or undermining from your rival less believable. Third, they create a network of allies who can vouch for your work and character.

Make an effort to help others, collaborate generously, and build genuine friendships at work. Your rival might try to damage your reputation, but strong relationships with others will protect you.

7. Don’t Engage in Gossip or Retaliation

When someone treats you like a rival, you might want to vent to coworkers or find ways to get back at them. Don’t do it. Gossip and retaliation always backfire.

Talking badly about your rival makes you look unprofessional and insecure. It also gives them ammunition to use against you. Trying to sabotage them creates a toxic cycle that hurts everyone, including you.

Instead, take the high road consistently. Let your work speak for itself. If others ask about the rivalry, stay neutral: “We have different working styles, but I’m focused on delivering great results.”

8. Focus on Your Own Excellence

The best response to rivalry is to excel at your job. When you consistently produce high-quality work, meet deadlines, and contribute valuable ideas, your reputation speaks for itself.

Don’t get so distracted by the rivalry that your performance suffers. That’s exactly what an unhealthy rival wants. Instead, channel any frustration into motivation to be even better at what you do.

Keep learning new skills, taking on challenging projects, and building your expertise. The more valuable you become, the less any rival can hurt your career.

9. Know When to Involve Management

Most rivalries can be managed without involving your boss or HR, but sometimes escalation is necessary. Consider bringing in leadership when:

The rivalry is affecting your ability to do your job
Your rival is engaging in harassment, discrimination, or other serious misconduct
Team productivity is suffering because of the conflict
You’ve tried other strategies and nothing has worked
The situation is affecting your mental or physical health

When you do escalate, stick to facts. Describe specific behaviors and their impact on work, not personality complaints. Say: “When Jane excluded me from the client email chain, I missed critical information that delayed my part of the project” rather than “Jane is mean and doesn’t like me.”

10. Consider Whether It’s Worth Staying

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a workplace rivalry makes your job unbearable. If the organization rewards competitive behavior over collaboration, if management won’t address the problem, or if the situation is seriously affecting your wellbeing, it might be time to look for a new opportunity.

Leaving isn’t failure—it’s recognizing when an environment isn’t healthy for you. Life is too short to spend every workday miserable. A fresh start somewhere with a better culture could be the best career move you make.

Turning Rivalry into Respect

In some cases, you can actually transform a rivalry into a respectful working relationship. This won’t always work, but it’s worth trying.

Start by having an honest, private conversation. Use “I” statements to express how the situation feels from your perspective without attacking them. For example: “I’ve noticed tension between us, and I want to clear the air. I respect your skills, and I think we could accomplish more by working together instead of competing.”

Be prepared for defensiveness, but stay calm and open. Sometimes people don’t realize how their behavior affects others. Your rival might be dealing with their own insecurities or pressures you don’t know about.

If they’re receptive, work together to establish ground rules for interacting. Commit to supporting each other’s successes, communicating directly when issues arise, and focusing on team goals rather than personal competition.

The Bottom Line

Learning how to manage rivalry in the workplace is an essential professional skill. These situations test your emotional intelligence, communication abilities, and strategic thinking.

Remember that you can’t control how others behave, but you can always control your response. Stay professional, document what matters, communicate clearly, and focus on doing excellent work. Build strong relationships with supportive colleagues and know when to involve management or move on.

Workplace rivalry is challenging, but handling it well demonstrates maturity and leadership that will serve your career for years to come. You don’t need to win every battle—you just need to protect your peace, maintain your integrity, and keep moving forward toward your goals.

You Might Also Enjoy: